The Art of Journaling or My Dad is a Spaz

My dad is a hilarious and very unique person.  In some ways, these two attributes are independent of each other and in other ways they are dependent.  Yes, my dad is sometimes hilarious because of his uniqueness, and other times, well, you get the idea. 

Pops and I at a metric century bike ride in October.  Eating pie.  Naturally. 

Firstly, my dad is an engineer at heart.  He loves to plan, loves to make lists, loves to think about things.  If you are working on a project and need some help, Dad is the go-to person.  He'll make a list or five, think, and voila, have a solution for you.  Sometimes this helps and sometimes the solution comes three days too late.  The problem is, Dad is a planner's planner.  Analysis paralysis, I think they call it.  Pops loves to think about doing things, but sometimes doesn't actually get to the doing part. 

Enter the relevance to writing.  I keep a journal.  I started this journal during my senior of vet school, in order to record all the crazy patients and their owners I worked with along with memorable moments in the OR (3 am colic surgeries), the large animal hospital breezeway (loose cow, anyone?), and instructors, techs, and other staff we had to learn to work with (or work around, depending).  I regret not starting my journal in earnest three years prior, at the start of freshman year, but better late than never.  As such, I've surprised myself and have kept the journal going since then (about 5 years). 

I don't make daily entries.  Sadly, my life is just not that exciting and I can't bear to draft an entry that reads: "July 15 - Ramen for lunch and dinner.  Walked the dog.  Had a bowel movement."  But I do write in my journal on average 3 to 4 times a week.  Now that I'm in the habit, I find it relaxing and cathartic - a way to record what's happened, to take a step back and really re-live the past day or so.  When I first began journaling, I put pressure on myself to write every single day and record every single thing that happened in excruciating detail.  Thankfully, those self-imposed demands quickly fell by the wayside when I realized if I adhered to them, the journal would last about one week.  Now, my entries are much more relaxed, often stream-of-consciousness, and rarely account for things in minute detail.  My grammar is atrocious, spelling is embarrassing, and sometimes things don't make sense.  But for me, this is ok.  Now, enter my dad.

Dad post-retirement

Dad retired in April.  Since then, he's been busy painting the house, hiking, bike riding, and taking yoga classes.  He's busier now than when he was gainfully employed!  He's also healthier.  As he finds himself doing more interesting things than being a desk jockey, he has started keeping a journal.  Sort of. 

Last time I talked to Dad, he informed me he bought a new journal to start over.  Confused, I asked why he needed to start over.  How does one start over in a journal?  Did you mistakenly record something on Tuesday that you actually did on Monday?

He told me that as he was reading his older entries, he found them full of typos and long, rambling sentences.  Plus, he said, it was profoundly boring.  To which I responded: yes....?  I think everyone's journal is that way, unless you're Neil Armstrong or Nelson Mandela or a member of ZZ Top.  This wasn't good enough for Dad.  Nope, he's starting over, this time paying more attention to short, succinct sentences, spelling, handwriting, and content. 

We'll just see how long this lasts.  As I said, he's a planner's planner, which means he'll think about the journal and his wonderful spelling and properly placed adverbs.  He even went as far as informing me he's only going to write on one side of the page, not on the back.  All I could do was say ok and jot down the make and model of the journal he ordered. 

In the mean time, I will continue my own journal.  In a recent issue of Vanity Fair, their Proust Questionnaire involved an older author who I am ashamed I didn't recognize and therefore now can't recall his name.  The question was: What is your most prized possession?  His answer: his over 100 volumes of personal journals.  This struck me as an amazing achievement in recording the most personal history of one's life.  This also gave me something to work toward.  Since my budding journal writing beginnings 5 years ago, I only have about 6 volumes.  I better get crackin'.

PS: while I'm on the subject, here's a good post on 5 reasons to keep a journal (important for us writerly-types).

Viva Las Vegas!

Let's step away from the writing and vet med topics for a second and expound on the myriad of reasons why Las Vegas is probably in the Top 5 of The Most Awesome Places in the World.  This is a timely topic since:

a. Winter is creeping in around the Mid Atlantic and I start to dream of dry deserts and palm trees
b. I'm running the Rock N Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon on Dec 2 and I am just dying to get there

I've been to Vegas three times before.  Three wonderful, magical times.  I love the place.  If I were single and it was legally possible to marry a location, I would propose to it. 

One of the reasons I frequent Las Vegas is because the annual Western Veterinary Conference is held out there in the beautiful Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino.  One of the annual national veterinary conferences in the US, the WVC is the West Coast's version of NAVC (North American Veterinary Conference) which is held annually in Florida.  And why choose WVC over NAVC since Florida is closer to home than Nevada?  No contest - I'd take Vegas over the humidity of Orlando any day.

However, I feel like I give people the wrong impression when I talk ad nauseum about my sincere love of Las Vegas.  I'm not a big drinker (note the qualifier there), not much of a gambler (I yell at the video poker machine when I'm in the hole ten bucks), and not really in the market for strippers or prostitutes.  But let me tell you, this is why I love Vegas:

1. Neon lights.  There's just something about being able to walk down a street at 11 pm and have everything lit up like the middle of the day.  Combine that experience with the fact that the lights are colorful and moving and blinking and are in the shapes of cowboys and martini glasses and castles and ... just... wow.  Love it.

2. Weather.  The dry desert weather does a person good.  At least, does this person good.  Even in the summer, when the mercury frequently climbs above 100, well, as they say: it's a dry heat.  Also, the lack of rain is friendly to vacation plans - any time I've been there, the thought of rain ruining our plans never occurred to me.  Also, on a side note, the geography of the place is a stunning bonus.  A backdrop of mountains to frame a sunset across the desert is such a welcome sight to eyes used to seeing the comparatively bland forests and fields at the foot of the Appalachians.  (Mind you, there are some lovely places out here: Assateague National Seashore and Shenandoah National Park to name a few.  Mental side note: I owe you dear readers a good solid blog on the wonderful National Parks.) 

3. Sequins.  I can't think of anywhere else I've been where it's perfectly ok to wear sequins at any point during the day or night.  And I do love sequins. (Would it be unprofessional to have my white DVM coat re-done with a simple sequin border? Yes? No?)

4. Best people watching ever.  Walking the strip is an endless source of entertainment, no matter what time of day.  8:30 am?  Hey, giggle at the drunks happily wandering out of the casinos, bleary-eyed and startled by that bright yellow orb in the sky.  4 pm?  Catch a few people dressed as Elvis, or Hello Kitty, or Homer Simpson, or Batman.  2 am?  Your guess is as good as mine.

mmmm wonderful, salty, broth-y pho

5. So many things to do.  I'll admit it - I'm a bit of a wild child.  Last time I was in Vegas, I tried for the first time ever... pho.  Yeah, it was crazy.  You know what they say - what you eat in Vegas usually makes a second appearance on the flight back home... Actually the pho behaved itself.  But besides being a gastrophile's heaven, you would not believe all the stuff there is to do in this relatively small city (beyond the drinking and gambling and debauchery, I mean).  For example:

• Ride the roller coaster outside New York New York
• Travel up the Eiffel Tower at Paris
• Visit the National Atomic Testing Museum
• Shoot a machine gun
• Ride to the top of the Stratosphere
• Visit the aquarium at Mandalay Bay
• Tour the art gallery at the Bellagio
• Visit the Neon Museum, City Hall, and the Nevada State Museum

And for those wanting to venture a little farther, there's always:

• Red Rock Canyon 
• Valley of Fire State Park
• Hoover Dam
• Grand Canyon
• Death Valley

Perhaps for a second career, I'll try things out as a Las Vegas tour guide.  And wear blue crushed velvet pant suits all day long.  With sequins.

Me, in 30 years

Interacting with the Writing Crowd

A few weeks ago I got up the nerve to attend a writers' happy hour in DC.  It was terrifyingly thrilling.  From past posts, you may remember that I'm a tad bit of an introvert, so to attend such a function is WAY out of character for me.

 I'll admit I walked past the bar (The Science Club) not two but THREE times before I actually went in.  It's called Gathering Courage. 

Anyway, I went in and ... had an alright time.  There were about ten of us and the organizer, the lovely Willona Sloan, walked us through three writing exercises of 20 minutes each.  Willona gave us writing prompts and we all wrote furiously for the given time limit, with the option to share at the end. 

Being a writers' happy hour virgin, I didn't dare share my pathetic attempts at literary genius with the group.  I was too embarrassed, too self-conscious.  I was also finding it difficult to concentrate with the awesome 80s music soundtrack and a loud and intense conversation going on at the table next to us.  But, it was a learning experience.  It was a start.

The point is, dear readers/writers, that these types of exercises are good for us.  Writing is most often a lonely excursion but if we lock ourselves in our offices or bedrooms or basements or wherever our writing place is for too long, we may lose something of the human dynamic that is so important in writing.  For me personally, I lose the ability to write acceptable, believable dialogue.

I encourage everyone to search their local writer's scene for a writers' get-together.  If happy hours aren't your thing, what about a poetry slam or even a book club?  I have found that most members of such groups, be they for writing or reading, are extremely accepting of other new members and very encouraging toward everyone's personal goals. 

Better yet, if your local area that doesn't have something to stir your inner writer cravings, create a group of your own.  Willona saw a lack of such get-togethers in the DC area (What? DC not having enough happy hours?! Get out!) and started her own.  And so far, it's going very well.  On that note, I'd also like to encourage writers to search for writer's retreats and workshops. 

Since proving to myself that attending a writing social event does not cause immediate death, I do think I'll attend another.  (A little run n' coke helps, too.)

Hurricane!

This evening marks the landfall of Hurricane Sandy.  I'm sitting in bed, having just finished spending over an hour sending cold-call emails to potential interviewees for an article I'm working on.  Half of the emails have already returned with either "undeliverable" messages or "out of office" messages.  Grr.

However, as I'm working I get the privilege of hearing Hurricane Sandy knocking at my windows.  She's picking up speed and the wind sounds like it's in the process of yanking the siding off.  Downstairs, the husband and visiting dad and brother are watching a Star Trek movie.  Loudly.  So, occasionally I can't tell the difference between ray guns, cosmic explosions, and wind damage.

But we did have an epic dinner earlier of frozen pizza, run 'n coke, and chocolate chip cookies.  During said dinner, we clinked our glasses in a toast to Sandy since she gave us a reason to flush good nutrition down the toilet and the entertainment of watching the meteorologists on the Weather Channel grow more manic by the minute.

Anyway, this relates in no way to veterinary medicine or writing.  I'm actually having a tough time connecting writing or vet med to the topic of hurricanes, which is weird for me, considering I usually have no trouble at all bringing in some random vet med fact into any conversation. ("Oh, the S&P 500 is down today?  Well, that reminds me of this time I lanced a huge abscess on this goat's neck...") In fact, when I cheat and Google "writing during hurricane", I only get hits related to the Bob Dylan song "Hurricane" (which actually is about a boxer, not a meteorological event) and printable hurricane materials for young readers (looks sort of fun, actually).  So.

After a little more searching, I have come across a somewhat fascinating scientific article titled, "Writing on the Plywood: Toward an Analysis of Hurricane Graffiti", by Derek Alderman and Heather Ward, from the Dept of Geography at East Carolina University and Coastal Resources Management Program, both in Greenville, North Carolina in the journal Coastal Management, 35:1-18, 2008.  The authors state in the abstract, "People often paint graffiti-like messages on the plywood used in to cover windows and doors during a hurricane.  The content of these landscape inscriptions ranges from practical information to deeper expressions of emotion and beliefs.  Hurricane graffiti is an under-analyzed yet potentially useful indicator of the range of psychological needs, social tensions, and environmental attitudes circulating within coastal communities."  Well.  Never in my life would I imagine sitting around in my PJs reading an article from Coastal Management.  This calls for more pizza, rum 'n coke, and cookies.

Personality Test

The other day at work I took the Myers-Briggs test.  Well, they say it's not a "test".  They kept calling it an "instrument" since there are no right or wrong answers in the thing, therefore making it not a test.  Well.  Anyway, my results indicate I am what is classified as an ISTJ.  This stands for Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging.  Basically, it makes me sound like an asshole. 

The results weren't a surprise to me.  I've taken the test, sorry, instrument during freshmen year of vet school and I remember then I was also classified as an introvert, although I couldn't remember the other three categories.  What surprised me was my extremeness in a few of the categories.  I am EXTREMELY introverted and EXTREMELY judging.  This makes me sound like even more of an asshole.

This got me wondering.  I am engaged in two different professions: veterinary medicine and writing.  Sometimes these professions cross, like when I write articles about canine cognitive dysfunction, and sometimes they don't, like when I make another fruitless attempt at a novel.  How does an ISTJ personality fit with each profession?

An interesting blog from Banfield, the Pet Hospital (2010) states the traditional vet personality is the ISTJ/ESTJ - either introverted or extroverted individuals who would rather analyze data, make lists, stick to schedules.  However, more recent polls of new grads indicate more I/ESFJs - these are the more feel-y type people, being more influenced by feelings than logic and data.

Excuse me while I get my science on

I can understand ISTJs in the veterinary workforce.  We want to look at bloodwork, analyze glucose values of a diabetic cat, make decisions on antibiotic therapy based on cultures, wound contamination, and owner compliance.  We like our scheduled exams and the fact that we can make decisions on our own.

But, what about writing? I have always felt that no matter what kind of writing you do, except maybe grant proposals or really technical writing, like drafting a manual on the construction of carburetors, there is creativity involved.  And if there's something that doesn't fit well with an ISTJ, it seems to be creativity.

Reading about this further, though, it seems I'm thinking about this in the wrong way.  It's not that ISTJs can't be creative.  Rather, it's more about how they go about being creative.  In a blog about writer personalities, Andrea Wenger writes that ISTJs are efficient writers.  We ISTJ-ers prefer writing about demonstrable facts and usually have a set writing plan (guilty as charged).  Maybe this is why NaNoWriMo appeals to me: give me a plan, force my hand with a deadline, and (theoretically) I'm off and running.  Now to put theory into practice....

I'm curious about other writers out there - do you know your Myers-Briggs' personality type?  If so, do your writing habits match what your personality type indicates? 

How to Make Editors Like You

Hopefully there will come a time in your freelance writing career when you begin to develop relationships with editors.  For clarity: professional relationships, not elicit ones.  That's just not fair.  One goal of most freelancers is for editors to start coming to them with ideas so the freelancer doesn't spend all of his/her time writing queries that may or may not even generate interest (see last week's post on getting your dog to write your query letters). 

Yes, the best way to get editors to start asking you for articles, stories, whatever it is that you're writing, is to actually write good, er, well.  Funnily enough, however, writing well may only get you so far if the rest of your package (your professional skills, nothing else  - why is this post sounding more and more perverted?) is unprofessional.  In short, it doesn't matter if you're the next Hemingway or Pulitzer journalist if you can't meet deadlines and are a general jerk to deal with.  People just don't put up with that crap, especially if you're new to the publication.

Here are some quick tips on how to make your editors like you:

1. Follow up on your promises. 

If you say you'll find some awesome photographs to go with your fascinating article on sarcoid skin tumors in horses, get those pictures.  If you say you'll be able to get three professional sources for your article on how to house-train your miniature horse, then do it.  Broken promises from writers disappoint and mislead people and greatly shake your credibility as a writer.  They make editors wonder: if she can't get <whatever it is you failed to deliver>, is she really going to deliver the article?

2. Respond in a timely manner.

Freelancing is a business and should be treated as such.  Respond to questions in a timely, courteous, succinct manner.  Avoid social media vernacular such as "LOL" and "U".  Sound professional - an email response is still a writing sample.  This doesn't mean spend hours crafting a response to a "Do you think you could write this by Monday" type of question.  It does mean proofread at least once and also make sure you're actually answering the question that was asked.  Writer availability is a great asset.  If an editor has to choose between two writers and the only difference between them is Writer A always answers her emails and Writer B is just impossible to get in touch with, Writer A's got the job, no contest. 

3. Be honest.

Yes, in a query letter or in an elevator speech you need to make yourself sound good.  But, like, not necessarily Pulitzer Prize-winning good.  Unless of course you've actually won one.  Then, yes, you should probably mention that.  But for the rest of us, be honest about the nitty-gritty.  This means your experience (writing and real-world job, hobbies, etc.), your credentials, your writing abilities, and your time commitments.

4. Don't over-sell yourself.

This sort of ties in with #3 above.  Basically, if you've agreed to write a 5000 word essay on the intricate workings of the NYSE, you better deliver.  It's tempting in a query to over-inflate an article idea and if you can get an interview with the President, well, good for you!  Just keep in mind that you'll be creating a lot of stress for yourself if you really don't know that much about the NYSE, or the President.

5. Treat all publications equally.

Writers know not every magazine or website or literary journal has the best readership or nicest staff or most efficient payroll, but do not play favorites.  As you are starting off as a freelancer, every publication that pays you (and is reputable and fits your writing goals, etc. etc.) should be treated equally and professionally by you.  Every piece of work you turn in to an editor should shine.  It's especially tempting to get sloppy with web writing, perhaps because usually it's viewed as a less-formal format than print publications, but it's still your writing being showcased.  If you find yourself repeatedly slouching on the job for a particular publication, stop working for them.  It's clear you don't enjoy the work so don't waste your time.  Focus on other publications or projects instead.

If you gave a dog a query letter...

I don't think there's a writer out there who enjoys crafting a query letter.  If you know one, send him my way.  I'd like to shake his hand and then submit him for psychological testing.

Depending on the project, the query may take as much time or longer than the actual writing for the project did.  I know this was my case when I first started freelancing articles to magazines.  Writing one thousand words telling readers why their pets benefit from annual wellness exams?  No problemo.   Writing three-hundred words telling editors why my one thousand words are pure gold? Ug.

The query process can be quite painful

However, in the freelance business, queries are a necessary evil.  They are your foot in the door, your chance to sell yourself.

Still, wouldn't it be nice to have someone else do this dirty work for you?  I don't have a secretary, an assistant, or even someone to take in my laundry.  But I do have pets.  Which got me thinking: if I could get my dog or one of my cats to write my query letters, how would that turn out?

Dog's Query Letter:

Dear Missus Editor,

Hi.  I just wrote something that I think you will think is great.  It's sort of long and exciting, with a little sadness in the middle, but then happiness comes in again and the end is really good.  There are people in the book and a dog.  The people sometimes interact with the dog, but not too much.  This creates drama.  There is also food in the story.  Lots of food.  And outside.  And walking.  But no squirrels.  Or cats.  Which is why the story is sort of sad (no squirrels) but really great (no cats). 

I think the genre is fiction, but you can tell me what you think.  Also I think you'll like the dog character a lot. 

I really really really hope you will love my book as much as I love my book.  You can call me any time and I'll answer.  Ask me anything you want.

I can't wait to meet you!

Your new best friend,

*paw print*


Cat's Query Letter:

Attention Editor:

This is merely a formality.  I am submitting this article for publication in your magazine.  I am fine with North American rights and would like twenty copies of the magazine before it hits the shelves.  If you request, I can return one autographed copy to you.

If you must know details, the article is roughly 2000 words and includes tips on how to keep your cat well-fed and entertained.  I realize your word limit on features is only 1000 but I simply could not cut anything out.  Every word is pure gold.

If you need to contact me to negotiate payment, I'll be on the couch, or, if it's in the afternoon, in the west-facing window. 

Sincerely,

*paw print*